December 2011
Bye, bye 2011. My advice for 2012? You might have...
366 days cos its a leap year init
mcdammit:
How to flirt:
Say smooth suave sexy things like
Sit on my penis
Touch my penis
I wish I were helicase so I could unzip your genes
Do romantic things like:
Ask to see a girl’s boobs
Shave dollar signs into your pubes
Lay your balls on her head while she’s sleeping
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Gay male: I'm gay.
Straight female: OMG UR GAY LET'S BE BFFS CAN WE GO SHOPPING TOGETHER OMG
Gay female: I'm gay.
Straight female: EW GET AWAY FROM ME U DYKE DONT TOUCH ME GROSS LESBIAN GERMS
And let's not forget -
Gay female: I'm gay
Straight male: OMG SO HOT. DAMN. CAN I FUCK YOU AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND WHILE SOMEONE FILMS IT. TOUCH HER BOOOBS. BOOOOOOOOBS.
Gay male: I'm gay
Straight male: HOLY SHIT IT'S A HOMO GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME FUCKIN HOMO. BACKS AGAINST THE WALL GUYS.
Parents: get off the computer
Me: excuse me, I'm a professional blogger have more respect
everyone: it's just a book
you: YOU KNOW NOTHING
fawz-ee-ah:
I don’t really care if you smoke as long as you don’t do it in my face
boy: hi
me: so what kind of weather are you thinking for our wedding like spring or winter maybe summer because i like strapless dresses yeah and if we're planning on having kids i like names that start with "a" how about you also have you thought about a retirement plan we could go into early retirement and like move to the south like birds lol if ur a bird then i'm a bird and do you want to be buried or cremated i think we should have our ashes sprinkled over this spot cause we met here
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